


Cool Cat versus the Chimera Ants

by CornCobBro



Category: Cool Cat Saves the Kids (2015), Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anthropomorphic, Daddy "Deus Ex Machina" Derek, Multi, The Bee Movie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 04:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15089054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CornCobBro/pseuds/CornCobBro
Summary: Cool has faced bullies, cyber bullies, and terrorist all alike. But can he handle the tyranny of the Chimera Ants?





	Cool Cat versus the Chimera Ants

**Author's Note:**

> No Rule 34 for Cool Cat in this, I'm sorry :(.

It was a sunny and beautiful afternoon at Daddy Derek´s neighborhood. Cool Cat decided to go out and play with the neighborhood children and teach other kids about the consequences of bullying. However, the nice day turned into chaos when the Chimera Ants king and his cronies invaded the neighborhood. Coincidentally, the monstrous ants attacked the playground where Cool Cat and his friends were playing. Cool Cat and Maria were just playing ball when Youpi, Shia Labeouf- I mean, Shaiapouf, and Neferpitou descended from the sky.  
¨Wowzers,¨ exclaimed Cool Cat in awe. ¨That was cool,¨ he went again in glee as he and Maria approached the Chimera ants.  
The 3 Chimera Ants just stared at the man in the cat costume in confusion.  
¨What is that,¨ asked Youpi, in disgust, as his hugeness overcast a shadow over the 2 manchildren and a half.  
The butterfly chimera ant, Pouf, also looked in puzzlement.  
¨I´ve no clue. It certainly looks to be a mythical beast,¨ assumed Pouf.  
¨What? I´m no mythical beast! I´m Cool Cat silly! And I´m the protector of all kids,¨ went Cool Cat jubilantly.  
¨Protector, hmm? He must be one of those special humans,¨ Neferpitou also speculated with her comrades.  
¨Wow are you a cat as well? That´s so cool,¨ went Cool Cat happily again at Pitou.  
¨Then it´s settled. This human and his friend are coming with us, dead or alive,¨ concluded Pouf. Youpi also nodded in agreement as he approach Cool Cat and Maria.  
¨You first,¨ Youpi went menacingly as he grapple onto Maria with his huge (yaoi) hand. Her head went off like a doll. Blood pour out like a fountain. Cool Cat gasped in horror.  
¨HEY YOU CAN´T DO THAT YOU BIG BULLY,¨ the manchild cat screamed angrily as he beat his fists against the large red beast man. But it was futile.  
¨I´M GOTTA TELL DADDY DEREK ON YOU!! HE´S GOTTA CALL THE COPS AND HAVE YOU GROUNDED FOR A WHOLE MILLENNIUM LIKE CALLIOU!!¨  
Youpi ignored Cool Cat´s threats as he also grasped him. Cool Cat squeaked like a toy duck as he was face to face with Youpi.  
¨Boi I´m yo daddy now,¨ Youpi went. And so the Chimera Ants took flight once again to return to their king.  
From afar though, Butch the Bully witness everything.  
¨Hey! Those jerks took away Cool Cat! No one bullies Cool Cat but me,¨ angrily went to other manchild as he gain chase after the ant people.  
The chimera ants and Cool Cat landed in one of J. K. Rowling´s mansion where the king was taking residence. Meurem was sitting on a chair made out of the remains of Hagrid when his henchmen arrive dragging in Cool Cat who was having a tantrum.  
¨BULLIES!! SCUM!! DADDY DEREK WILL PUNISH YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL,¨ wailed Pussy Cat.  
¨What is that screaming furball you brought into my domain,¨ asked Meurem, nearly aggravated by Cool Cat´s constant rants.  
¨A special human we thought you enjoy eating, your majesty,¨ answered Pouf, a little overwhelmed by not only being in the presence of his king, but also bringing something he might not like.  
The king just glared at Cool Cat.  
¨I am NOT eating that. His fur smells like playdoh and he´s getting manchild tears all over the floor,¨ went Meurem.  
Cool Cat finally cooperated.  
¨So YOU´RE the leader of these bullies! You killed Maria and catnapped me! When Daddy Derek hears about this, you´re SOOOOOOOOOOOO in trouble,¨ went Cool Cat righteously.  
¨Daddy Derek,¨ repeated Meurem in puzzlement. ¨Tell me, is he another cheap patriarch that dares challenge my authority?¨  
¨Cheap?! HOW DARE YOU!! Daddy Derek is anything BUT cheap! He has a guitar signed by Van Halen! That´s no where as cheap as your DBZ look!¨  
This causes the henchmen to gasped. But luckily for Meurem, he had his own ammunition.  
¨Well at least my fursuit wasn´t made by underpaid Chinese workers.¨  
¨Ermaigawd, my king, you so swag and majestic af omg,¨ thought Pouf to himself near to gasming.  
¨But I´ll tell you what: we´ll see who´s just as cheap. First we´ll stripped that ridiculous suit off… And then we´ll skin you,¨ explained Meurem sinisterly.  
Cool Cat gasped in horror as well.  
¨NO!! Not… MY SUIT! My suit´s the only source of my power and identity!¨  
¨So was Cheetu´s birthday suit. Guys strip em down,¨ commanded the Chimera Ant king.  
Youpi went first as he grabbed Cool Cat by the nape of his neck, pulling him up in the air. Neferpitou took the honor of shredding Cool Cat´s costume with her sharp af claws. But once she had tore away Cool Cat´s middle abdomen, she ceased.  
My god… Cool Cat´s pecs… are… PURRFECT!!!!!  
¨Yo, Peetou, why you stopped,¨ Pouf asked alarmed.  
¨I… I can´t do eet,¨ went Neferpitou.  
¨What´s the hold up,¨ Meurem asked as well.  
¨I CANNOT KEEL HEEM… HE´S TOO SMEXY,¨ the cat girl wailed.  
¨WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT,¨ went the rest of the Chimera ants.  
¨I refuse to kill him… We´re gotta let him live, AND HE WILL BEAR MY EGGS,¨ declared Pitou.  
¨Uhhhhhh… stranger danger,¨ asked Cool Cat.  
¨I forbid this,¨ abruptly went the ant king, sitting up finally. ¨You will tear this pussy´s skin off or so help me no more catnip for you.¨  
¨YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME. NOT ANYMORE,¨ Neferpitou went, like a child rebelling against her parent.  
Meurem made the angry Yellow Diamond face.  
¨From this day forth, I have disowned you,¨ declared Meruem.  
¨Oooooh shit my hoe,¨ went Youpi.  
BUT THEN, YOUPI WAS SNIPED THROUGH THE HEAD. He dropped Cool Cat and died.  
From outside, Butch the Bully had a sniper rifle, aiming inside. He did his (forced) evil laugh.  
¨IMMA BULLY AND I DON´T LIKE WHEN OTHER PEOPLE BULLY MY CAT WAIFU, I mean, MY ENEMY!¨  
Butch continued sniping again. This time as warning shots.  
Pouf flew outside, antagonized. He found Butch´s sniping spot.  
¨YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND I´M GOTTA MOW IT, FATTY,¨ declared Pouf menacingly.  
Meanwhile, Cool Cat sat up quickly and socked Meruem in the face. Cool Cat had on his angry eyebrows.  
¨I´M COOL CAT AND I´M GOTTA DESTROY EVERY ONE OF YOU BULLIES!!¨  
¨My hero~¨ said Neferpitou.  
¨NOT IN MY HOUSE¨, Meurem snapped back, using his tail as a means of defense. His tail hit Cool Cat´s thigh. The poison spread throughout his leg, numbing it. Cool Cat fell and was at the mercy of the Chimera Ant king.  
Neferpitou was about to come to Cool Cat´s rescue.  
¨DONUT TOUCH MY BITCH,¨ hissed the cat-ant.  
The king just stared at the cat-ant.  
He pulled out a pointer.  
¨Hoe donchu dare,¨ warned Pitou.  
Soon, Pitou found herself chasing the laser pointer.  
Meanwhile, Butch was trying to lose Pouf but his legs couldn´t keep up. He was losing energy quickly just by running. Butch ran across the street without looking at the sign. Luckily, he passed by unscathed. However for Pouf, he got himself hit by a truck.  
Pouf took a ride sprawled on the windshield with Barry the Bee.  
¨See… this is all BEEcause you didn´t wait for the signal,¨ explained Barry.  
¨… stfu,¨ growled Pouf.  
Back with Cool Cat, Cool Cat was still awaiting for the finishing blow.  
Until his prayers were answered.  
The door was knocked down by great force. And in came Daddy Derek with a steel chair. He slammed the chair against the ant king.  
¨Daddy´s home,¨ went Derek Savage as he grabbed Meruem´s tail and swung him around, Super Mario 64 style.  
Mr. Savage threw Meruem against the wall. And by pinching both of his own nipples, Derek Savage incinerated the Chimera Ant king with laser vision.  
And the king was no more.  
Pitou has finally broke out of the trance and came to Cool Cat´s aid. She sucked the poison from his thigh.  
And then Cool Cat was all better.  
¨Whew… boy did that king really BUGGED me,¨ went Cool Cat, relieved.  
¨Indeed! And now that he´s gone… WE COULD FINALLY START A LIFE TOGETHER,¨ said Pitou, gleeing.  
¨Aw yeah Mr. Crabs,¨ gleed Cool Cat as well.  
The 2 cats were about to make out.  
Until Pitou was sniped in the head. She fell over, dead.  
¨OOOOOHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,¨ cried Cool Cat, with his not-so-indoor voice.  
Butch was responsible.  
¨No one could have you but me,¨ said Butch. ¨Plus her pussy game was weak.¨  
¨B-Butch… I didn´t know you actually had feelings for me,¨ said Cool Cat, baffled.  
¨Well why else did I bothered you? I didn´t want to admit it at first… but your coolness got to me,¨ confessed Butch.  
Cool Cat gasped in surprised.  
¨Cool Cat… I… find you cool...¨  
¨Oh Butch!!!!!¨  
And so Cool Cat and Butch embraced… right before Butch got arrested for possessing a weapon.


End file.
